I love icons. They are works of great beauty, drawing the one gazing upon them into the mysteries they contain. Icons remind us that the holy one written into them is a reality encountered during our prayer. We have many icons in our house, a constant reminder of being surrounded by Jesus, Mary, angels, and “a great cloud of witnesses” who are looking upon us, as we look upon them. (Hebrews 12:1) There is a saying that the eyes are the window of the soul, so it is feasible to say that as we look into the eyes of the holy one written upon the icon, we are entering into deeper relationship with them. It was in praying with one of my icons that the following questions arose: What would it have been like for Mary (and Joseph) to be with, and therefore gaze upon, Jesus during their lives together? * What was it like to experience His loving gaze every day? What would it have been like to know that every time they looked into Jesus’ eyes, they were looking into the eyes of the Almighty, the Living God? And the most important question of all: Do we ever think of looking into the eyes of God or that we could experience something like what Mary and Jesus did as they looked upon one another? 

An excellent way to enter into these questions is to reflect upon Mary while meeting her in prayer. That is, ask her to tell you what her experience of living with Jesus was like. A great place to begin is with the Gospels. Though he does not use the term, Luke gives witness in his Gospel to the Immaculate Conception of Mary: at the time of the Annunciation the archangel Gabriel proclaimed in his greeting that Mary was full of grace, something which in her humility, seemed to have surprised her. The angel had also told her that this child was the Son of God. That is, Mary knew who Jesus was His entire life. We can rightly say, then, that every time she looked into her Son’s eyes, Mary knew she was looking into the eyes of God. While she did not understand everything about Him, in her humility and purity she would have recognized the Love that returned her gaze. Put spiritually, daily the purest mother gazed into pure Love’s eyes. **

The beauty of Love also emanated from Mary, the Immaculate Mother. (Luke 1: 26-38) The moment she was overshadowed by the Holy Spirit she was ‘infused’ with Love’s pure light within her womb and as she gazed outward, it must have radiated. Luke infers this through his description of the Visitation: Mary’s cousin Elizabeth recognized and responded to the light within Mary, exclaiming, “Most blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb. And how does this happen to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?” And then, “…the moment the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the infant in my womb leaped for joy.” (Luke 1:42-44) Therefore, we can look at Mary as a prism who refracted the light of the One she carried within. 

Accordingly, it is reasonable to say that when we go to prayer, we, too, enter into this gaze. In pondering who Mary is and how she refracted the Light and Love of God as a mother, a wife, a friend, and a ‘mentor’ to the apostles during her life on earth and in her continuing role as Queen of Heaven, we can enter into it. In every reported apparition since she was assumed into Heaven, Mary is seen bathed in light or emanating the light of holiness and purity, which of course, is the light of Heaven. When artists and iconographers depict Mary and all the holy ones with a halo it is because they reflect the light of God. And therefore, as we spend time with Mary and with the Lord, as we enter into their gaze, we can begin to take that light within our hearts so we might refract the light of God as well. That is, we will grow in holiness. Love’s light cannot be contained, especially when it originates in the Light of the Eternal One in Heaven. 

As we prepare for Lent, perhaps we can consider the last question posed at the start of this reflection: do we think of entering into God’s gaze or that we can enter into the same gaze as that between Mary and Jesus? One way to do this is to put our reflection into the context of Lent by praying with the Gospel readings from daily and weekend Masses, or when praying the Rosary or Stations of the Cross, and most especially while meditating on the mysteries of Holy Week. With Mary we can look into the eyes of Jesus and invite Him to look into our eyes as He rides into Jerusalem on a donkey, at the Last Supper as He washes the feet of the apostles (and ours!), as He hears the crowd yell, “crucify Him,” as He carries the cross, and as He is dying upon it. We can observe Jesus and His mother as they gaze upon one another, and we can be as Mary and John the apostle, gazing into one another’s eyes after Jesus says, “Behold, your son” and again, “Behold, your mother.” (John 19:26-27) *** But let’s do more than simply observe: let’s enter into His eyes, the eyes that are filled with compassion, mercy, forgiveness, and healing. In a word, let us be immersed in love.  

May we begin to discern the ways we will enter into so great a mystery in accompanying Jesus and Mary this Lent! May we respond to God’s invitation to enter into His loving gaze! And may we refract the Light of Love, the gift of grace! Let us meet in the Light of Jesus and Mary! Peace!

                          ©Michele L. Catanese

* First, I am speaking spiritually here; this is not meant to forget that Jesus was fully human and fully God. Understand that in all the instances in which I say “looking into the eyes of God” it is always being implied that Jesus is fully human as well as fully God. Second, here is much that can be said of Joseph, but I am limiting my comments to Mary for this entry.
** The beginning of the life of Jesus was anything but ordinary for the Holy Parents. Magi, a star, rejoicing angels, shepherds, the prophets Simeon and Anna, running for their lives from Herod, living in exile, and angels indicating what they were to do in leaving Bethlehem and returning to Israel by settling back in Nazareth: hardly an ordinary beginning at all. But after those first few years, their lives were ordinary in every way until Jesus began His public ministry. 

Finally, a note on prayer: we don’t often pray “between the lines” of Scripture. That is, we know it is important to pray with the Scripture passages as they were written, since every word does have significance. But occasionally it is also good to prayerfully consider what it may have been like in ordinary, daily experiences beyond the Gospel scenes. That is, in allowing the Holy Spirit to lead, we can (and should) use our imagination in the context of prayerful reflection. For example, I have suggested imagining what it was like for Mary to look into the eyes of her Son: you could imagine their eyes meeting as she looks at Jesus while He makes a chair with Joseph, or as they eat a meal, or in whatever context you think would have been ordinary in their lives.

Images:
1. Icon; Christ All Merciful, by Fr. William Hart McNichols. If you wish to purchase a copy of this icon (or any of Fr. Bill's other icons of Jesus, Mary, or a saint), you can find it at https://fineartamerica.com/featured/christ-all-merciful-022-william-hart-mcnichols.html. You can access his personal website here: https://frbillmcnichols-sacredimages.com/
2. Fresco painting; The Annunciation by Blessed Fra Angelico. There are many paintings and artists I love, but this is my all-time, #1 favorite.
3. My photo; Moon over Lago (Lake) Maggiore, taken in Baveno, Italy. 
4. Painting; The Sower, by Vincent van Gogh. The light makes this painting come to life. Everything depicted is made more beautiful and vibrant because of his usage of light.
5. My photo; Rosary and Bible.
6. My photo; Sunset on water, taken in Ortigia, Siracusa, Sicily.

Note: In compliance with GDPR rules, I wish to make it clear that I do not gather any information on any of my readers at any time. 

​When I was young, I would do my weekend homework right away so it was not hanging over my head. A friend had the opposite approach, putting homework off until Sunday night because she "worked better under pressure." That approach was motivational for her, but for me it would have been nothing other than sheer stress. However, as I matured, I realized there are many situations in which our preference is often immaterial. That is, we all have to do some tasks under the pressure of time, and though we may not prefer it, we must develop the ability if we are going to meet life’s demands. In those instances, procrastination will only serve to heighten stress as long as the undone task remains. The most important area in which we must avoid procrastination is in our spiritual life. God is with us every moment and longs for us to spend quality time with Him through prayer. If we put off prayer, we will lose the desire, and eventually the ability, to notice and respond. In short, when we become spiritually ‘self-sufficient,’ our hearts will grow cold and we become far more vulnerable to temptation and far less able to cope when adversity strikes. 

For those who struggle with procrastination, (though I think everyone does to some extent), this tendency also lends itself to great vulnerability in the spiritual life, manifesting as the sin of sloth. Sloth is a type of spiritual laziness in which we put off developing a prayer life or we become lazy in keeping up the relationship with God we already have.* Satan capitalizes on this tendency, tricking us into believing that we should do ‘more important’ things first such that we don’t have time left for prayer, or encouraging distractions and attachments which increasingly come before God. The more we give in, the worse it will become until prayer is given up altogether because of the illusion that we are getting along just fine without it. When this happens, the result is that our hearts grow cold.

If you struggle with this, do not be discouraged because when we desire to change, God will always help. This Jubilee Year of Hope is a perfect time to reassess and perhaps let the fire in our hearts be stoked again. In refocusing, remember that prayer is not a chore, but rather, it is a response to a Person, that is, God. He is fully aware of our weaknesses and the difficulties in our lives. His desire is not to chastise, but to offer love, provide mercy where needed, and heal that which is broken within us. He will do more than meet us halfway: God’s love and power are without limit. Our part is to consistently take the time to sit with Him for a little while, and He will do the rest. ** I do not want to sugarcoat this, however: prayer requires work. The truth is that it is easy to become distracted, and honestly, many days it will be difficult to pray. However, God cannot help if we do not ‘show up;’ He never forces anything upon us. Therefore, it is important to prioritize the time for prayer, exercising the spiritual gifts of faith and hope we already have, so that the third and most important of these, love, can become re-ignited. 

It helps to use Scripture as a way to begin or re-ignite the practice of prayer. Some people find it helpful to imagine that Jesus is with them, but don’t forget that Jesus truly is present and is not simply in our imagination: we really are communing with the Lord who is completely attentive when we pray. And as such, we cannot rush our words or ignore His response any more than we would if any other friend was sitting before us. If prayer seems dry and difficult, then just sit together with Him, but do not give up. Distractions are a reality, but we should not use them as an excuse to completely turn our attention away from God to something else: we would never think to totally ignore a friend who had come to visit by rudely picking up an electronic device to play a game, search a topic, or get on social media, so why should we do that to Jesus? Again, if nothing seems to be 'working,' just sit with Him; that is enough. 

There is no time like the present. To fall more deeply in love with God, which is where holiness is born, we must spend time with Him in the same way other ordinary people have done throughout the ages. These people probably had to fight the temptation to procrastinate from time to time, too, but the fruit of their prayer can be seen in mystical poetry such as that of St. John of the Cross or St. Thérèse of Lisieux, treatises such as those of St. Augustine, St. Francis de Sales, or St. Pope John Paul II, and good works such as those done by St. Francis Xavier, St. Frances Cabrini, or soon-to-be canonized Pier Giorgio Frassati. And of course, there are myriads of ‘unrecognized’ people whose acts of holiness will remain hidden except perhaps to those who knew them. Holiness is simply love made visible: the way of this path is best ‘trod’ by spending time with God in prayer so that He can heal, mold, empower, and teach us to love as He does so that we, too, can make love visible in the world. 

May we ask for the graces we need to avoid procrastination and to persevere in prayer! May we resolve to work at prayer so that our time with the Lord would inspire and enable growth in holiness! And may we have our hearts enkindled with Love so that we might make God’s love visible! Let us meet in the heart of Jesus which burns with love for us! Peace!

                                  ©Michele L. Catanese


* To be clear, all of us can and do suffer from sloth to some degree or another at various times in our life of prayer. It is not something that only happens to some people. 
** One excellent way to 'find the time' to pray is to identify and then reprioritize the things we do daily that get in the way of our relationship with God; for example, instead of spending as much time on our electronic devices, we can put them down for a while so that we may meet the Lord in prayer. We can add an hour of adoration or attend an additional Mass during the week, if possible. Something that we often forget is the importance of meeting the Lord for private prayer at home by setting aside a specific time and being consistent in keeping to it as best we can. 

Note: There is a lesser-known short story written by J.R.R. Tolkien that is quite beautiful and which I recommend. (Tolkien was a devout Catholic, and his Catholicism influenced much of his writing, though he refused to let anyone characterize any of his works as allegorical.) The short story, Leaf by Niggle, was created when he was totally blocked as to how to end the Lord of the Rings. He put LOTR aside for a while, and instead penned this brilliant story about a man named Niggle who is basically good, but is so obsessed with finishing his painting of a tree, specifically one particular leaf, that he neglects many things. The result is that his priorities get 'out of whack.' He does good deeds, but only if prevailed upon. One day he grudgingly helps a neighbor, catches a terrible cold, and … the Inspector of Houses shows up, forcing Niggle to take a train and leave. He laments that he had all kinds of time to get ready, but never packed his bag for the trip, and so unprepared, he gets shipped off to “the workhouse.” I will not spoil all of it, so you have to read it in order to find out what was really taking place and how it ends, (which is quite uplifting). However, the clear message is that Niggle is an average person, neither a saint nor a horrible sinner, but what ails him is being unprepared spiritually for the final journey.  You can find the story on Amazon, if you wish to read it. (This is not an endorsement of Amazon, just a suggestion to find the story.)

Images:
1. My photo; rocky coast in the fog at Peggy's Cove, Nova Scotia, Canada.
2. Painting; Portrait of Dr. Gachet by Vincent van Gogh. (Goodness, he looks bored!)
3. Drawing; St. Philip Neri, artist unknown. St. Philip's heart was almost literally on fire with love: he threw off so much heat that even in winter he did not need a coat!
4. Painting; Praying Girl, by Robert Ferruzzi, 1870. 
5. Icon; St. Mother Cabrini Missionary of the Sacred Heart by Fr. William Hart McNichols. If you are interested in purchasing a copy in one of many mediums you can find this at https://fineartamerica.com/featured/st-mother-cabrini-missionary-of-the-sacred-heart-209-william-hart-mcnichols.html
6. My photo; Sunrise in my neighborhood, Fulshear, TX. 

Note: In compliance with GDPR rules, I wish to make it clear that I do not gather any information on any of my readers at any time.