Jesus Our Truest Friend

Many of us have had the painful experience of being ditched by a ‘friend’ who we subsequently discover had only intended to use us in some way, especially because they have now attached themselves to someone else whom they deem more beneficial to their presumed status. They have ‘ghosted’ us; that is, they have disappeared from our lives, cutting us off totally, leaving only the pain of recognizing that true loyalty or mutual friendship was never intended nor existed. In this experience we are not alone: Jesus was abandoned by His followers on a number of occasions, especially when His teachings seemed too difficult to comprehend or when followers did not want to do something that required change within them. If Jesus fell out of favor with the authorities, they left Him in search of something or someone whose teachings were what they wanted to hear, or perhaps from whom they could get something that benefited their desires. I can imagine this was quite painful for Jesus since He came to save all people, especially those whose souls were in greatest peril of being lost. Therefore, we should be consoled because He truly understands. 

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I recently read an article about a saint with whom some may be unfamiliar, St. Charbel Maklouf (1828-1898). Last November this saint was highlighted by Pope Leo XIV during his trip to Lebanon, (his first trip outside of Italy as Pope), when he prayed at his tomb. St. Charbel was a Maronite monk whose fame spread far and wide not only because of his wisdom, but because of the miracles which occurred through his intercession during his lifetime and which have continued to take place after his death. It is said that over 30,000 miracles have resulted through his prayer. More important than his miracles however, is who he was. St. Charbel was a humble monk whose four most prominent characteristics were prayer, silence, modesty, (humility) and simplicity. It is said that he prepared for two hours before he celebrated Mass and prayed for two hours after he finished. He is usually depicted with his eyes closed, as explained by Chorepiscopus Samer Nassif: “His eyes are closed because he is turned toward God; he belongs to Heaven.” There is much one can say about this wonderful saint, but to our point, it would be easy to turn to him only for what we want him to do rather than to learn from who he was. It is better to know him and imitate his virtues, becoming a true friend, rather than to only ask for his help. True friendship, spiritual or otherwise, is about mutuality; for a saint such as Charbel, our friendship is best offered by imitating his virtues and loving Christ better because of him.*

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Let us turn to Jesus, (whom St. Charbel loved), and therefore consider one of the most obvious occurrences in His ministry concerning those who sought to ‘use’ Him. That Jesus was aware of this, and the lesson concerning this kind of behavior, was important enough for Mark to point out in his Gospel account.  I am referring to something Scripture scholars call the Messianic Secret, a term which refers to instances when Jesus would work a miracle and then tell the recipient not reveal that it was He who had healed them. The first thought we might have is “Good luck with that!” How could anyone be expected to receive sight, be freed from demonic possession, cleansing from leprosy or any other catastrophic illness, and keep it a secret? How could anyone hide the identity of the healer once their miracle was noticed by others? The answer is not that Jesus realistically expected them to hide their healing, but He was making an important point: He was trying to keep His identity as the healer unknown to help people to reorder their priorities. That is, He wanted people to follow Him not for what they could get, but rather for who He is. Just as none of us like being used by friends, Jesus did not want to be reduced to being merely utilitarian. He wanted people to truly hear His message and to change their lives that they may know the love and mercy of God rather than to be lost. We cannot grow or be set free from what hinders, nor find freedom, love, and mercy, without our hearts being healed. None of that is possible without a sincere relationship with Jesus.**

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It is clear that Jesus is more interested in the state of our soul since the body will eventually decay; He desires that we understand that our soul is infinitely more important because it is eternal and it is the essence of who we are. He longs for our freedom from all that prevents true relationship with Him, to heal the wounds within our hearts, and to liberate us from attachments and distractions; without His help, we simply cannot achieve this. Jesus desires intimacy with us, simply put, because He loves us. And in the same way that we must follow Him for who He is, He wants to love us for who we are. That is, Jesus is not trying to ‘rack up’ followers, but rather, He wants us to know His mercy, His love, and His very Heart. Jesus desires our friendship, and He is our truest friend. As St. Augustine said, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” We can find this truest of friendship and love nowhere else, so let us look no further and let our hearts rest in Him.

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May our hearts rest in Jesus alone! May we offer all of our relationships to the Lord that we might be truer in our friendships, living with forgiveness, mercy, and love! And may we grow in holiness to better love our Truest Friend, Jesus, with sincerity and commitment! Let us meet in the heart of Jesus! Peace!

                           ©Michele L. Catanese

* First, a chorepiscopus is a rank in the Maronite church just below a bishop, translated as “country bishop.” A good way to understand this is to think of a chorepiscopus as an assistant bishop.
- It might help to begin knowing St. Charbel better by considering some sayings he often repeated: “Begin nothing on earth unless it has its end in heaven.” And, “You exist in this world to give and to serve.” You can find more at https://aleteia.org/2025/12/01/why-is-st-charbel-depicted-with-his-eyes-closed/
- About the Pope’s visit to St. Charbel’s tomb: https://aleteia.org/2025/12/04/4-attitudes-taught-by-st-charbel-according-to-pope-leo-xiv/

​** There are numerous instances in the Gospels of Jesus asking recipients of His miracles to keep quiet, but an instance of note is when Jesus healed the paralytic who was lowered through the roof by his friends. Jesus said, “Child, your sins are forgiven” and only after the uproar (created by the scribes who were present) did Jesus heal the man physically. He then addressed the crowd saying, “Which is easier to say… ‘Your sins are forgiven, or to say, ‘Rise, pick up your mat and walk’”?  (Mark 2:1-12) This incident is also found in Matthew 9:1-8 and in Luke 5:17-26. I must note that it is often pointed out that Mark wrote the shortest Gospel and that every word he wrote in his succinct style was measured and of importance, so it is interesting that of the three Synoptic Gospels, his telling of this healing is the longest. Therefore, it becomes obvious how clearly Mark understood the importance to our Lord of this message concerning the value of our soul!​

Images:
1. My photo; New Mexico sky.
2. Photo; St. Charbel Maklouf; Wikimedia Commons, public domain.
3. Painting; Jesus Heals a Paralyzed Man, by James Tissot. Wikimedia Commons. This image was uploaded by the Brooklyn Museum as a content partnership, and is considered to have no known copyright restrictions by the institutions of the Brooklyn Museum. Note: While the Brooklyn Museum cannot make an absolute statement on copyright status for legal reasons, it supports and encourages the Wikimedia community in researching and applying the copyright status tag that is most appropriate for their purposes.
4. My photo; hikers on a trail in Lost Maples Natural Area, Vanderpool, Texas.
5. Icon; Nuestro Salvador de las Sandias, by Fr. William Hart McNichols. If you desire to purchase this icon in one of many available mediums, go to ​fineartamerica.com/featured/nuestro-salvador-de-las-sandias-012-william-hart-mcnichols.html.

Note: In compliance with GDPR rules, I wish to make it clear that I do not gather any information on any of my readers at any time. 

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